Stowaway World Cup – Group of 16 – Games 5 & 6

Game 5: Pet Shop Boys versus Röyksopp

Our first game today pits the winner of Group E against the runner up of group F.

  1. 6+4. Goal for worst performance in previous games. Röyksopp lost a game and drew one, so 0-1.
  2. 4+1. Goal for most weeks on UK single chart. Equaliser – 1-1.
  3. 2+4. An aggressive start to the game. Goal for quality of last album. Well that’s Hotspot and The Inevitable End. Both are good, but the latter is great. 1-2.
  4. 6+2. Another shot! Goal for best album. Probably Behaviour, so 2-2.
  5. 5+4. No goal.
  6. 5+3. No goal.
  7. 2+6. Goal for percentage of members who have remained. Both have always had two, so no goal.
  8. 3+3. No goal.
  9. 1+3. No goal.
  10. 4+3. Late shot after a very quiet second half. Goal for most album releases. Pet Shop Boys score and win 3-2.

Game 6: Air versus I Monster

Next up, the winner of Group F against the runner up of group E.

  1. 5+1. No goal.
  2. 6+4. Goal for worst performance in previous games. That wildcard, which has turned up in nearly every game so far. Both won two and lost one in the group stages. Air won 2-0, were awarded a win after a dirty 0-0 draw, and lost 1-2. I Monster won 2-0, and 3-0 and lost 0-3. So this is close enough that the referee is ruling no goal.
  3. 5+6. No goal.
  4. 6+6. No goal.
  5. 4+2. Goal for most single releases. Air score. 1-0.
  6. 4+4. No goal.
  7. 6+1. Goal for best song. Le Soleil est Près de Moi plays maybe Hey Mrs.? 2-0.
  8. 1+3. No goal.
  9. 6+1. Foul. 1+3. Penalty for I Monster, who score! 2-1.
  10. 4+4. No goal. Air win 2-1.
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Stowaway World Cup – Week 2

So, we reach the end of the group stages, in this entirely pointless competition. There were a few surprises. Group A saw Jean-Michel Jarre and Madonna and Yazoo advance. Group B was led by Kylie Minogue and Depeche Mode, while Sparks crashed out without a single win. Group C was led by Erasure and Massive Attack, and Group D by Kraftwerk and Goldfrapp. Group E saw The Beloved knocked out, with Pet Shop Boys and I Monster leading the pack. Group F was led by Air and Röyksopp, with OMD and Enigma knocked out. Group G was led by David Bowie and The Human League, and Group H by New Order and The Future Sound of London.

So those are the Group of 16, with some tricky games coming up this week, and at the end of this week we’ll also enter the all-unexciting quarter finals. So it’s a good time for some tweaks to the rules for the remainder of the competition.

Going forward:

  1. You need an outright win – no more draws. We’ll have 4 throws of extra time, followed by penalties.
  2. 6+6 is no longer a foul. Instead, a repeated throw is a foul, but only if it was going to be a goal attempt. If it’s a pair, we’ll ignore it, but if not, the foul was committed by the higher-scoring side (left = left team, right = right team). If the sum of the dice is even, it’s a scored penalty.
  3. To reduce the number of goal chances, any double throws are no goal from now on.
  4. Most of the goal-scoring categories will change to a new set of spurious deciders.

Stowaway World Cup – Group Stages – Games 37-40

Game 37: Pet Shop Boys versus I Monster

  1. 5+6. No goal.
  2. 2+4. Goal for quality of last album. Easy goal for Pet Shop Boys. 1-0.
  3. 1+3. No goal.
  4. 1+3. No goal.
  5. 5+4. No goal.
  6. 4+6. Goal for total weeks on UK album chart. 2-0.
  7. 5+2. No goal.
  8. 2+4. Re-roll. 2+4. Re-roll. 5+5. No goal.
  9. 4+4. Goal for number of UK top ten hits. 3-0.
  10. 2+4. Re-roll. 5+2. No goal. Pet Shop Boys win 3-0.

Game 38: Röyksopp versus Air

  1. 2+2. Goal for number of studio albums to date. 0-1.
  2. 4+2. Goal for most years between first and last hit. Röyksopp can claim 2001-2014, and Air just 1998-2004. 1-1.
  3. 6+4. Goal for highest number of search engine results. Air cheat a bit by having such a common name, and I couldn’t really get the results down to a sensible number, so we’ll say no goal.
  4. 3+3. No goal.
  5. 4+3. Goal for highest number of remixes of another artist. Looks likely to be Röyksopp, so 2-1.
  6. 2+6. Goal for number of permanent members. No goal.
  7. 6+1. Goal for number of BRIT Award wins. No goal.
  8. 3+3. No goal.
  9. 1+6. No goal.
  10. 5+2. No goal. Röyksopp sneak a 2-1 win over the leaders of their group.

Game 39: David Bowie versus Leftfield

  1. 5+1. No goal.
  2. 1+6. No goal.
  3. 6+1. Goal for number of BRIT Award wins. 1-0.
  4. 4+2. Goal for most years between first and last hit. 2-0.
  5. 1+2. No goal.
  6. 5+5. No goal.
  7. 2+3. Goal for quality of first album. Easy goal for Leftfield. 2-1.
  8. 6+1. Re-roll. 4+6. Goal for total weeks on UK album chart. 3-1.
  9. 4+5. Goal for number of UK hit albums. 4-1.
  10. 1+6. No goal. Bowie, undefeated in his group, wins 4-1.

Game 40: New Order versus The Radiophonic Workshop

  1. 6+2. Goal for highest estimated total sales. 1-0.
  2. 2+5. Goal for best artwork. New Order, for Music Complete and probably various others. 2-0.
  3. 1+3. No goal.
  4. 1+5. No goal.
  5. 5+2. No goal.
  6. 4+2. Goal for most years between first and last hit. 3-0.
  7. 1+2. No goal.
  8. 1+2. No goal.
  9. 2+6. Goal for number of permanent members. Since The Radiophonic Workshop has been something of a revolving door, this is likely New Order, but it would be near-impossible to verify. Since it won’t make a difference to the result, we’ll rule this to be no goal.
  10. 6+1. Goal for number of BRIT Award wins. New Order, with one. They win 4-0.

Stowaway World Cup – Group Stages – Games 29-32

Game 29: I Monster versus Client

  1. 5+3. No goal.
  2. 4+4. Goal for number of UK top ten hits. Neither has any, so no goal.
  3. 3+6. No goal.
  4. 2+2. Goal for number of studio albums to date. I Monster‘s discography isn’t easy to decipher, but I think they have the edge. 1-0.
  5. 3+5. No goal.
  6. 6+3. Goal for highest number of mentions on blog. 2-0.
  7. 2+2. Re-roll. 5+2. No goal.
  8. 2+6. Goal for number of permanent members. Client have one, and I’m pretty sure I Monster have two, so 3-0.
  9. 6+2. Goal for highest estimated total sales. There’s no real way of confirming this, so I’ll rule this a no-goal.
  10. 1+4. No goal. I Monster win 3-0.

Game 30: Air versus Enigma

  1. 6+6. A shocking foul at the start of the game! 1+5 tells us that a player is sent off from the right-hand team. That would be Michael Cretu playing dirty for Enigma, and since he’s their only remaining player, the game ends. 0-0, but the referee is awarding the win to Air.

Game 31: Ladytron versus Leftfield

  1. 1+2. No goal.
  2. 3+3. No goal.
  3. 3+6. No goal.
  4. 3+4. No goal.
  5. 1+1. No goal.
  6. 3+6. Still no goal!
  7. 5+1. No goal.
  8. 2+2. Finally. Goal for number of studio albums to date. 1-0.
  9. 5+2. No goal.
  10. 6+4. Goal for highest number of search engine results. 1-1. Draw!

Game 32: William Orbit versus The Radiophonic Workshop

  1. 2+4. Goal for quality of last album. William Orbit scores! 1-0.
  2. 2+5. Goal for best artwork. Some great options for both teams, but I’m going to say 1-1.
  3. 1+2. No goal.
  4. 5+3. No goal.
  5. 4+2. Goal for most years between first and last hit. William Orbit has a few hits, while The Radiophonic Workshop don’t appear to have any (I don’t entirely believe this). 2-1.
  6. 3+5. No goal.
  7. 3+4. No goal.
  8. 6+2. Goal for highest estimated total sales. 3-1.
  9. 3+4. No goal.
  10. 5+5. No goal. William Orbit wins 3-1.

Stowaway World Cup – Week 1

So we reach the half way point of the group stages, and we’ve already had a lot of surprises. I’m sure you won’t have missed them in all the excitement, but just in case, here’s a recap.

Group A

The group is currently firmly led by Jean-Michel Jarre, with the Delerium / Front Line Assembly / Conjure One supergroup as runners-up, but any of the teams could still qualify.

Group B

Depeche Mode are well ahead, and after two disappointing losses for Sparks and a surprise win for Kylie Minogue, the latter currently looks likely to sneak into the group of sixteen.

Group C

Erasure have a strong lead, with Saint Etienne just holding onto second place, but with a game in hand.

Group D

Kraftwerk lead with two strong wins, and Hot Chip are currently holding onto second place after drawing against Goldfrapp in their first game.

Group E

Pet Shop Boys are leading, and after two dirty games from The Beloved, I Monster currently hold the runner-up spot.

Group F

Big surprises here. The favourites are currently right at the bottom of the table, with Enigma in first place, Air in second, and Röyksopp and OMD in third and fourth.

Group G

David Bowie is comfortably leading, with The Human League in second place.

Group H

New Order lead, with The Future Sound of London in second.

Stowaway World Cup – Group Stages – Games 13-16

Game 13: The Beloved versus I Monster

  1. 1+4. No goal.
  2. 1+2. No goal.
  3. 3+3. No goal.
  4. 2+2. Goal for number of studio albums to date. Neither has many, but I Monster clinch it. 0-1.
  5. 5+1. No goal.
  6. 2+6. Goal for number of permanent members. Another goal for I Monster, who have held on to both of their members. 0-2.
  7. 6+6. Foul. 5+1. The higher number on the left means that one of The Beloved gets sent off, and since they only officially have Jon Marsh at the moment, that means the game is over. 0-2.

Game 14: Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark versus Air

  1. 5+6. No goal.
  2. 3+5. No goal.
  3. 2+3. Goal for quality of first album. OK, that’s OMD‘s flawed but lovely eponymous album, or Moon Safari. Both great candidates, but I think that’s Air edging ahead. 0-1.
  4. 1+6. No goal.
  5. 3+4. No goal.
  6. 1+4. No goal.
  7. 4+3. Goal for highest number of remixes of another artist. Clear win for Air. 0-2.
  8. 5+2. No goal.
  9. 5+3. No goal.
  10. 3+5. No goal. Surprise win for Air there – 0-2.

Game 15: The Human League versus Leftfield

  1. 5+3. No goal.
  2. 2+4. Goal for quality of last album. Well, The Human League‘s Credo wasn’t great, while Leftfield‘s last release was. 0-1.
  3. 1+4. No goal.
  4. 1+1. No goal.
  5. 4+6. Goal for total weeks on UK album chart. Closer than I’d have thought, but that sees The Human League equalise. 1-1.
  6. 4+6 again, so let’s re-roll (the rules aren’t entirely clear about this, but referee’s decision is final). 2+5. Goal for best artwork. Both have had some great moments, but Dare is the most iconic. 2-1.
  7. 6+2. Goal for highest estimated total sales. Hard to be certain, but it seems likely The Human League. 3-1.
  8. 4+4. Goal for number of UK top ten hits. Easy win for The Human League. 4-1.
  9. 5+2. No goal.
  10. 2+5. Let’s give Leftfield a go, since Leftism is great too. 4-2.

Game 16: The Future Sound of London versus The Radiophonic Workshop

  1. 4+3. Goal for highest number of remixes of another artist. Easy goal for FSOL. 1-0.
  2. 3+5. No goal.
  3. 5+2. No goal.
  4. 3+1. No goal.
  5. 5+1. No goal.
  6. 3+2. No goal.
  7. 5+3. No goal.
  8. 4+2. Goal for most years between first and last hit. Tricky. FSOL have a range of 1992-2001. The Radiophonic Workshop have probably had hits – I just couldn’t find any. We’ll call it no goal.
  9. 3+3. No goal.
  10. 5+2. No goal. So a low scoring game, but FSOL win 1-0.

Stowaway World Cup – The Draw

OK, time for the all-important draw. Pot A consists of the top 8 artists by mentions on this blog:

  • Pet Shop Boys
  • Depeche Mode
  • Jean-Michel Jarre
  • Röyksopp
  • Erasure
  • New Order
  • David Bowie
  • Goldfrapp

Pot B consists of the next eight, except that Moby is busy getting vegan tattoos, so won’t be taking part this year. Delerium, Front Line Assembly, and Conjure One are pretty much the same people anyway, so they have formed a single team together.

  • Saint Etienne
  • Kraftwerk
  • Sparks
  • Delerium / Front Line Assembly / Conjure One
  • The Human League
  • Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark
  • The Future Sound of London
  • The Beloved

Pot C sees a few disqualifications, with Vince Clarke taking part as part of Erasure, and Martin L. Gore playing for Depeche Mode:

  • Air
  • Little Boots
  • Massive Attack
  • Kylie Minogue
  • I Monster
  • William Orbit
  • Ladytron
  • Hot Chip

Finally, Pot D sees Dave Gahan disqualified for being part of Depeche Mode, plus U2 and Coldplay disqualified for not being very good. Yazoo formed a team with Madonna, for no particularly good reason.

  • Madonna and Yazoo
  • The Radiophonic Workshop
  • Leftfield
  • Everything But The Girl
  • Shit Robot
  • Client
  • Enigma
  • Bent

After the draw, the eight groups look like this:

  • Group A: Jean-Michel Jarre, Delerium / Front Line Assembly / Conjure One, Little Boots, Madonna and Yazoo
  • Group B: Depeche Mode, Sparks, Kylie Minogue, Everything But The Girl
  • Group C: Erasure, Saint Etienne, Massive Attack, Shit Robot
  • Group D: Goldfrapp, Kraftwerk, Hot Chip, Bent
  • Group E: Pet Shop Boys, The Beloved, I Monster, Client
  • Group F: Röyksopp, Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark, Air, Enigma
  • Group G: David Bowie, The Human League, Ladytron, Leftfield
  • Group H: New Order, The Future Sound of London, William Orbit, The Radiophonic Workshop

So the first game will be Jean-Michel Jarre versus Madonna and Yazoo, in a couple of days’ time.

I Monster – A Dense Swarm of Ancient Stars

If you can handle a bit of insanity, life in I Monster‘s world must be rather fun. After some initial false starts with the absurdly wonderful debut album These Are Our Children (1999), from which came the 2001 hit Daydream in Blue, which grew into the initial Neveroddoreven album in 2002, which was then remixed and “remodelled” in 2004. So it wasn’t until 2009 that we finally saw a follow-up.

A Dense Swarm of Ancient Stars is a complex offering, with strong hints of the absurdity and insanity that had peppered earlier releases, but also with a lot of musical maturity. It opens with the daft march of The Circus of Deaf, an amusingly humble title that references the early works of The Human League but takes it to another dimension entirely.

Lead single A Sucker for Your Sound follows, a beautiful song with a delightful vocal. It might not have been entirely apparent from the first track that in amongst the craziness, I Monster are entirely capable of exceptional music, but it should definitely be clear from this song. It’s every bit as good as anything on the preceding album.

There’s nothing really bad on here, but some of the tracks don’t stand out quite to the degree that you might have expected after Neveroddoreven. Goodbye Sun is one of the ones that struggles a little – it’s a nice song, and it has some fun lyrics and instrumentation – it just doesn’t quite grab you by the throat like some of their earlier tracks. In spite of including some fun impressions.

Cool Coconuts is similarly daft, a celebration of a tropical paradise in which bugs are parading up and down like the military. It’s soft and sweet, pleasant, and entirely silly, but somehow also pretty forgettable.

The same is not true of Lust for a Vampyr. When I Monster get things right, they write catchy songs with silly lyrics and pull in great vocalists, and then produce them in daft and unpredictable ways. Lust for a Vampyr is a great example of this – a catchy pop song about wanting to fall in love with a vampire, with some eccentric underground jazzy elements and Eastern European fiddle hidden in amongst the pop production. This is great.

Other tracks are less comprehensible, like Mr. Mallard. Fun, and delightfully silly, but difficult to fathom. But on the whole, A Dense Swarm of Ancient Stars is a conflicted album, the mark perhaps of something that took a long time to come together, and maybe lost its way a couple of times en route. When it’s good, it’s exceptional, but a lot of it doesn’t quite get to that level, however reserved you try to be with your expectations. So it is with She’s Giving Me the I. It’s fun, and still infinitely better than most of the things on the charts, even back in 2009, but it just doesn’t quite seem to work as a song, unfortunately.

But for every pair of tracks that doesn’t quite work, there’s a pair that does. The hilariously named Escape from New Yorkshire and final single Dear John are both great. Yes, there’s a lot of jazz in the first of them, but if you grin and bear that, it’s a pretty good near-instrumental (there’s a bit of counting and a small amount of singing towards the end, but that’s pretty much it). Dear John is a delightfully silly song about an accountant reaching the end of his tether.

If this album was a bit odd already, from this point it just gets odder. First up is the catchy and very silly Inzects, full of processed insect vocal sounds, and that blends into Inzects 2 – The Mutations. If this were a film franchise, that would be a predictable move, but it isn’t – it’s an album, and that all seems a little surprising.

Time for something more sensible? Kind of – the next trio of tracks is subtitled the Sickly Suite, and opens with the lovely How Are You?, opening up a series of beautiful songs where the silliness seems to have been toned down a little. That merges disconcertingly into the sixties-inspired Out of the Shadows, another sweet piece with complex effects and a lovely vocal. Then Gone tells us about a killer – things never stay sweet for long around here.

The film analogy works well, actually – A Pod is Waiting is heavily science fiction-influenced, as it lists out people who are about to die and explains that they’re actually going to be put into some kind of pod instead. It’s still fun, and it’s still silly too.

So is the closing track, a robot cover version of Simply the Best, which works surprisingly well. It’s an appropriate closing track for an album that’s sometimes beautiful, always fun, and eternally silly.

It would be nice to have a more contemporary follow-up from I Monster, other than the intriguing prog rock side projects that have been turning up in recent years, but maybe they said everything they want to on that front back in the decade from 1999 to 2009. It’s a shame, though – while I’m not fully sure how much I like this album, and it may not be, um, The Best, it does have some very fine moments.

You can still find A Dense Swarm of Ancient Stars from all major retailers.

Retro chart for stowaways – 9 September 2006

Here are the top albums from twelve years ago this week:

  1. Tiga – Sexor
  2. Hot Chip – The Warning
  3. Massive Attack – Collected
  4. Pet Shop Boys – Fundamental
  5. Röyksopp – The Understanding
  6. I Monster – Neveroddoreven
  7. Laurie Mayer – Black Lining
  8. Fatboy Slim – Why Try Harder: The Greatest Hits
  9. Vic Twenty – Electrostalinist
  10. Madonna – Confessions on a Dance Floor